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Harriette Cole: I’m wondering if his new wife is the reason he won’t see me

Harriette Cole: I’m wondering if his new wife is the reason he won’t see me

DEAR HARRIETTE: Every time I go to the town where I went to high school, I look up my old friends. I make the effort to see the ones I was closest to, usually making a call or sending a text weeks before I arrive.

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Recently, I have noticed that one of my friends hardly ever responds. When he does, it’s always vague and noncommittal. I don’t understand what’s going on. We were so close back in the day, and to my knowledge nothing bad has happened between us.

He did get married some years ago. I wonder if his wife is blocking him from seeing me. I am not trying to take her man. I would be happy to see her, too.

How can I address this?

— Old Friends

DEAR OLD FRIENDS: Next time you reach out to this friend, ask him if he and his wife can join you for drinks or dinner the next time you are in town. Explicitly include her so that your intention is clear. Yes, she may be the blocker. It is possible that he has hidden feelings for you that she senses even if he is suppressing them.

Instead of second-guessing the situation, see if this open invitation works. Then feel them out if you get together to learn if there’s room for you to be friends with them both.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently I’ve noticed a lot of people are giving themselves shots to lose weight. Several of my colleagues have gone on these extreme diets (or so they appear to me) and dropped as much as 75 pounds in a few months.

I need to lose weight, but it is coming off very slowly. I’m wondering if I should try one of these plans. I’m worried, though, as I have high blood pressure, diabetes and other ailments.

I don’t know if a shot that makes you lose weight fast might interact with my other medications and cause problems, but I don’t want to miss out on a way to jump-start my weight loss.

Am I being too cautious? Should I try one of these methods? I think one of them was originally meant for people with diabetes.

— Need To Lose Weight

DEAR NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT: Before trying any type of weight-loss plan, you must see your doctor. Talk to them about your concerns and ask about the popular methods to see if any of them are safe for you. You are smart to be concerned about what might interact with your current medications. Your doctor should be able to help you assess that.

While this may not sound as sexy as one of the current trends, working with a nutritionist is one way to go to inspire weight loss. A nutritionist will help you determine the best foods and portion sizes for your body. It will likely take longer to reach your result with a modified diet, but if you keep it up, you can create a lifestyle change for yourself that will ultimately get you to your goal.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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