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Harriette Cole: I had an idea for a video, and it showed up under her name

Harriette Cole: I had an idea for a video, and it showed up under her name

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend of mine is a video content creator.

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The other day while we were having lunch, I suggested a concept for one of her videos. She seemed uninterested in the idea at the time and sort of brushed it off.

A few days later, I logged on to Instagram and saw that she did, in fact, create a video incorporating the concept that I suggested. The problem is that she didn’t credit me with the idea at all and instead said that she found the idea “somewhere online.”

I feel hurt and confused. What should I do?

— I Want My Credit

DEAR I WANT MY CREDIT: You should speak to your friend immediately.

Confront her about using your idea without attribution. If she is truly a “good friend,” ask her why she would falsely state that she found the idea “somewhere online.”

Be strong as you speak to her, and demand that she add proper attribution to the video. Further, tell her that if she makes money on the idea, you expect some type of financial compensation. Do your research to find out what creatives are paid for video ideas so that you have a clear understanding as you talk to her. As a friend, tell her how disappointed you are that she essentially stole your idea.

DEAR HARRIETTE: After being divorced from my dad for about 15 years, my mom is finally dating someone new, and they seem very happy.

Although I’m thrilled for her, it’s been difficult for me to get to know this new man. I feel hesitant and a bit standoffish around him. He seems to be a nice guy. It’s just that my mother went through so much with my dad that I can’t stand the idea of watching her go through something like that again.

I know it’s important for me to accept this new relationship, but I’m not sure what’s holding me back.

Do you have any advice on how I can be more welcoming to this new man and less closed off?

— Hesitant

DEAR HESITANT: Your mother was probably wary at first about letting her guard down with this man. Trust her judgment and give him a chance.

If you don’t allow yourself to get to know your mom’s boyfriend, your mother may never be able to completely let herself relax into her relationship either.

Can you ensure that she will never be hurt again? No. But you can get to know this man, find out how he thinks and what he believes in and observe how he treats your mother.

Be respectful when you communicate with him, and be proactive about being in his company. That’s the only way you can get a sense of him. Do not assume that he has the same flaws as your father. Assess him on his own behavior and merit.

It may be difficult for you to do, but your mother is counting on you. Take it one encounter at a time.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

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